Your Success is Defined by Your Definition of Success

 By: Judy Widener

It’s common to watch as others become successful, then beat ourselves up because we’re not getting as far as fast as they are. It’s hard not to fall into the trap comparing ourselves to others. So how do we avoid it?

First, let’s explore the concept of success. What does the word success mean to you, and how does it define who you are? If success is synonymous with achievement, then you’ll need to produce something outside yourself in order to be successful.

In this scenario, success is an ending point. After you put forth the effort, you’ll produce the outcome you wanted, then you’ll be successful. You’re not successful until you produce the outcome: the promotion, the income, the paid off debt, the garden teeming with zucchini and zinnias, the independently-sustaining adult children, etc. This is a case of deferred gratification.

But if success means the attainment of something, then you’re successful any time you create an internal state that you want. Very different from achievement. Through your personal growth, you can attain inner peace, harmonious relationships, self-love, self-knowledge, confidence, motivation, fulfillment, and the freedom to just be you.

To contrast the two: you can achieve success in business, but the happy feeling you seek isn’t guaranteed to accompany success. Have you ever been bewildered because you achieved a success, but you weren’t happy? Our culture trains us to look to external factors to trigger our happy feelings, but that doesn’t always happen.

The deeper truth is this: you don’t need to wait for permission or justification to feel good. You’ll attain happiness, satisfaction, contentment and fulfillment when you choose to create it inside.

Prescription Glasses for any style

Generating your own positive feelings is the only path to lasting inner peace. As long as something or someone outside you dictates when and how you feel, you’re at their mercy. And peace is impossible.

Here’s a common example. One of the biggest challenges couples (and families) face is the temptation to compare successes. Sure, we can intellectually agree that we each have our own passion and personality that we express in our own inimitable way. But daily life can reflect a less accepting view.

Competition creeps in when your career grows at a pace that may be faster or slower than your partner’s. It’s so tempting to judge faster as better!

You might also engage in measuring your partner’s relationship skills against yours, and finding fault in the difference. Do you think your mate isn’t expressive enough, or that they’re too emotional? Maybe they’re not committed enough or they’re suffocating you. They work too hard or they’re lazy. Even recreational activities can get thumped with the judgment stick.

Underneath each of these examples is a judgment that’s common, but hard to admit: You would be a better person if you were more like me. My way of relating is the best, my hobbies are the best ones, etc.

Judging is an attempt to focus your attention on the other person, so you don’t have to deal with your own issues. But the nature of relationships is that each of us holds up the mirror that reflects our partner’s strengths, fears, doubts, beliefs and baggage-the whole kit and kaboodle.

So try as you might to focus your judgment on them, your mirror always reflects the spots where you haven’t yet achieved “perfection” (the personal growth you’re seeking).

When you see your reflection clearly, you’re free to create your own definition of success. So how can you feel more successful now?

You don’t have to wait until you achieve a goal to enjoy success. When you want to feel successful, pinpoint where you’re successful now. Look around your life. Find desires that you’ve already attained-they’ll feel fulfilling any time you focus on them.

Finding as much joy as you can, as often as you can, is especially important in the area of personal development. It’s so easy to believe that you can’t feel fulfilled until you’ve attained the full picture of who you want to become.

But every step along the way can be celebrated as its own success. You don’t have to earn it, either. Joy is available to you now. Look for it everywhere. Grab it. Squeeze it ’til it pops.

When you master the process of creating joy, you’ll feel fulfilled in every moment. Not in a schmoozy way. Not in repeating an affirmation way. In an honest way. A real way.

The key to enjoying success is to tie it to things you’re passionate about.

For instance, you could choose to be a successful lover of life, a successful seeker of personal growth, a successful partner and friend, a successful nurturer of your children, a successful painter of pictures, and dozens more. No longer waiting for a long-term outcome or comparing yourself to others, you’ll be free to enjoy other people’s success, too.

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How to Create Your Own Reality and Manifest Your Desires

By: Adrianne Geyer

Did you know that if you focus your thoughts on any one subject for only a few seconds, the things you think about has the potential to manifest your desires? The mind is constantly thinking all the time. It goes from one thought to the next in a continuous motion until interrupted. The moment it’s given the opportunity to become idle, the mind will pick up and start a new train of thought again and again.

The things we think about affect our emotions, and our emotions will inevitably drive our actions. For example, if you have an argument with a friend, notice how you keep replaying the argument over and over in your mind. You think about what you said, what he said, and what you should have said and so on. This thought pattern can go on for hours. The reason this happens is because the longer you focus on a subject, the stronger the thought pattern will get. As these patterns strengthen, the more you will continue to think about the argument and your emotions will be influenced by your thoughts.

What if you were to take this information and use it to create your own reality to manifest your desires? If you maintain your focus on a subject for more than a minute, that one particular thought becomes a dominant thought and the manifestation process begins until you change the thought. This focused attention is known as deliberate creation. As you continue to repeat this process, you will eventually get what you think about. How long it takes to manifest your desires will depend on your consistency. If you practice deliberate creation everyday, you will reach your goals a lot faster than someone who does it a few times a month.

A few exercises you can do to become wealthy is to start small by focusing your thoughts on how much money you would like to have, such as an extra twenty dollars a day. To strengthen your focus, create a vision board with pictures of money, cars, houses, clothes, etc so you can look at it several times a day. This can be done with glue, scissors, and a poster board, or you can make a digital slide show on powerpoint. The third thing you can do to manifest your desires is quietly quote short sentences affirming what you want. For example, “It feels great to earn an extra twenty dollars a day”, or “I love being completely debt free”.

If you combine these 3 steps and work on them every day, you will notice that it becomes easier to perform and you will be able to deliberately create the things you want at a much faster rate than when you started. Lastly, try not to give any attention to what you see. You may be tempted to give up if you do not see any changes during your first week. Keep in mind that deliberate creation takes place in the unseen realm before it can manifest into this physical plane. As you learn the principals of manifesting your desires by turning your thoughts into wealth producing action, you will create miraculous results any time you want.

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Coping With Difficult People In 3 Easy Steps

By: Michael Lee 

Coping with difficult people is a necessary survival skill if you want to make it past 30 without getting any heart problem. The good news is that it’s not impossible and many people have learned (through evolution) how to deal with extremely difficult circumstances.

If you want to know their secrets to coping with difficult people, read on!

Step # 1: Keep Distance. 

I’m not saying you should stay away from difficult people (since some of them might be your direct boss or your co-worker), but you should definitely keep your distance emotionally.

Sometimes, it takes only one person to ruin your day. Don’t give that person that kind of power over you. When someone rudely brushes you off, don’t allow yourself to get angry. Instead, detach yourself from the situation and move on.

When someone insists on doing things the hard way, don’t get your knickers in a twist. Coping with difficult people doesn’t mean you have to actively do something about the situation. In fact, you don’t have to respond or react to anything at all.

Step # 2: Accept Them For Who They Are.

Coping with difficult people is… well, difficult, but it gets a whole lot easier when you accept them for who they are right from the bat. That way, when they do something “difficult,” you can simply dismiss it as them being them. In a way, being difficult is just their nature.

After all, don’t you have friends with more than a few negative traits and yet you love them anyway? And anyway, difficult people being difficult has absolutely nothing to do with you. It’s a problem they have to deal with on their own.

Step # 3: Don’t Dwell On It.

When you’ve had a bad day courtesy of a difficult person at work or at the supermarket, let it go. Don’t keep telling your friends about it. Don’t keep thinking about it. Dwelling on that experience or that person only increases your chance of encountering that same experience or person in the future.

You’ve probably heard of the law of attraction, right? Besides, the more you think about it, the more your dislike and impatience grows. And when that happens, you just might turn into a more difficult person than the one you were originally mad at in the first place.

Coping with difficult people can be a nightmare; but with the right attitude and perspective, you’ll have no problem getting through your life in one piece! I mean it. Dealing with difficult people can be downright therapeutic if you follow these steps.

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Goal Setting Strategies – How Setting Goals Can Help You Achieve Financial Freedom

By: Ted Hunsaker

Goal setting is important for anyone who wants to succeed in a home based business opportunity. Setting goals both big and small, long-term and short-term will get you closer to financial freedom. You should set short term goals which include daily, weekly,and monthly goals as well as long term goals(More than one Year). Monthly goals could include sponsoring 4 new distributors into your opportunity every month, while daily goals could include talking to 10 or more people per day about your business. Your long term goals could include maximizing the compensation plan and making enough money to quit your day job. Not setting your goals will only set you up for failure. If you fail to plan you pretty much plan to fail.

Keep in mind that when setting goals, they need to be possible to obtain. You probably don’t want to set a goal for making five figures your first month as a new distributor in your primary company. It usually takes time and a lot of hard work to get to that level. You probably want to get yourself commission qualified first and then go from there taking one step at a time.

You should definitely take smaller steps in the short term to accomplish your long term goals. You have to first get to $1,000 per month before you can make $5,000 to $10,000 per month.

When setting your goals, you should write them down and put them on your wall close to your desk to remind you of what goals you want to accomplish today, this week, this month and this year.

You should also write down the tasks that you should perform to achieve those goals. So if I want to speak with 10 or more new people per day about my business and collect a yes or no decision, I will probably spend about 2 hours making phone calls to professionals or business opportunity leads. If my goals include improving my closing ratio, I will probably spend 30 minutes per day practicing the scripts while recording my voice and having my upline sponsor give me feedback.

You should also have a way of rewarding yourself for achieving your monthly goals. For example, you could reward yourself with a round of golf at a nice golf course or dinner with your spouse at a nice restaurant for achieving those goals. Rewarding yourself will keep you on track to eventually becoming more financially independent and will enable you to achieve those long term goals more easily.

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9 Activities To Help Improve Your Working Memory And Concentration

By: Tycho van Creato

You are capable to remember an extreme amount of facts. But your short term memory can always hold only a limited amount of things. But the working memory could actually be the very core of our intelligence. And it doesn’t matter what kind of education you’ve had, everyone can improve their mental capabilities. This article contains ten activities to help improve your working memory.

Activity 1: Eat
Imagine you bought that brand new car you’ve dreamt about. But instead of putting some gasoline in the tank, you fill it up with diesel and casually throw in a handful of sand. You probably won’t be surprised when the car doesn’t really get far. Your brain also needs the right fuel to work at its best. Try eating a balanced diet rich in omega-3 fats, antioxidants, (brocolli, blueberries spinache and berries for example). I also recommend eating more frequently, it prevents large dips in your blood sugar, the main source of energy for your brain.

Activity 2: Turn on the music
Psychologists and scientists have been looking at the connection between the music and the working memory for many years and many studies have found that music, especially classical, improves the storage and recall of information in the human memory.

Activity 3: Reduce stress.
Stress does not physically damage the brain, but it can make remembering things more difficult. Even temporary stresses have a negative effect on your working memory.

Activity 4: Pay attention
Often we fail to remember things, not because our memory isn’t good, but just because we weren’t paying attention. Many people encounter this when they forget peoples names. If you deliberatly try to remember things, you’re more likely to succeed

Activity 5: Group things
It’s hard to keep a random list of items in your head, did you ever forget something when grocery shopping? But you can make it easier for yourself. If you can remember that three of the things you needed were vegetables, you would probably also remember what they were.

Activity 6: Think Back
Here’s another great mental exercise. First of all, relax comfortably in an easy chair or on your bed. When you are really relaxed, start the exercise.
Start by mentally paying attention to yourself. Then go back and think of yourself going into the room. Keep on going back through the memories of the day. Every time you do this, it will be easier, and you can remember more and more details every time.

Activity 7: Strengthen your neural connections
This is an exercise can even create new neural connactions.
Grab the mouse with the hand you normally don’t use it with. It’s probably harder to be precise and accurate with your motions. You could easily try some of these exercises everyday. It is important to challenge your brain to learn new tasks, especially processes that you’ve never done before.
– Use your opposite hand to brush your teeth
– Dial the phone or operate the TV remote.
– Draw symtrically by making the same movements with two hands

Activity 8: include more of your senses in an everyday task:
Get dressed with your eyes closed
Wash your hair with your eyes closed
Share a meal and use only visual cues to communicate. No talking.

Activity 9: Walk
Walking is especially good for your brain, because it enhances the blood flow, which results in oxygen and energy reaching your brain more efficiently. As walking isn’t intensive, your legs also won’t use up extra oxygen and blood sugar. Walking can create a clear head and improve your working memory.

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See Dramatic Improvement in Your Eye Contact Skills

By: Jason Swanson

Is your eye contact aggressive, is it soft, is it inviting, do you love with your eyes? Eye contact is a very tricky art to master but vital to effective communication. How can you make it better?

Eye contact provides social information to the person you are listening to and talking to. Too much eye contact and you could be seen as aggressive, too little eye contact and you can be seen as having no interest in the person speaking. It is an often overlooked skill to have and an under utilised skill when communicating with people. You can see masters of eye contact in great sales persons, politicians, and good public speakers.

I realised the importance of eye contact when I was counseling people face to face. I noticed when I broke eye contact the person would stop speaking. When I maintained eye contact the person would continue talking knowing that I was interested in what they had to say.
Physiological signs of eye contact

Street traders know the importance of the eyes when using their selling skills to keep their potential buyers interested. When you are aroused or interested in an object your pupils will dilate and this is a big cue for salesmen all over the world.

Also when you are interested in someone sexually your pupils will dilate and you hold the person’s gaze a little longer than normal. When I was single I always knew when a girl was interested in me through her eyes, now that I am married if I get the same signs I discourage eye contact.
Every day conversation and eye contact

We will use eye contact every day of our lives so it makes sense to learn the best ways to use your eyes to your advantage.

Certain situations demand different uses of the eyes. For example if your are arguing it is seen as strong if you can hold your gaze. If you are deferring to someone it is better to lower your eyes, if you are loving someone it is good to stare into the pool of the eyes.
6 Ways to improve your eye contact skills

1. Talking to a group – When talking to a group of people it is great to have direct contact with your listeners. However you contact maintain eye contact with just one person as this will stop the other members of the group from listening. To get past this, focus on a different member of the group with every new sentence. This way you are talking to all of the group and keeping them all interested.

2. Talking to an individual – It is great to maintain eye contact when talking to a person however it can become a bit creepy and uncomfortable if you stare intensely at them. To combat this, break eye contact every 5 seconds or so. When breaking the eye contact don’t look down as this might indicate the ending of your part of the conversation. Instead, look up or to the side as if your are remembering something. Try it just now: don’t move your head, and think about the first time you started school. You will notice your eyes might move up or to the side as you try to remember this. So when your listener sees this they will think you are trying to remember something and keep on listening to you.

3. Listening to someone – When you are listening to someone it can be off putting for the talker if you stare at them too hard. The technique I use when I am counseling someone is to use what I call ‘The triangle’. This is when I look at one eye for about 5 seconds, look at the other eye for 5 seconds and then look at the mouth for 5 seconds and keep on rotating in this way. This technique coupled with other listening skills such as nodding, occasional agreement words such as ‘yes’, ‘Uh -huh’ ‘mm’ etc is a great way to keep the talker talking and to show them you are interested in what they are saying.

4. Arguing – Arguing with someone is a skill in itself and if you want to compete in an argument holding the gaze shows strength. If you look away when arguing with someone you have all but lost the argument. Obviously this depends on who you are arguing with but in general it is better to hold the gaze whilst you are making your point and also when you are listening to the other person. We have all come across the person who is great at arguing and making you feel small, you will notice that everyone who is like this try to stare you out. Stare back, it will surprise them, piss them off and put them off what they are trying to say. Staying silent and staring at someone who is trying to rile you is also an affective way to win an argument without saying a word.

5. Attracting someone – When you are trying to attract someone and show them you are interested you can talk and listen with your eyes. When a person you like is speaking use the whole face as your focal point. Look at their eyes, listen to what they are saying, smile in the appropriate places, raise your eyebrows in the appropriate places. If you feel you are staring at them move to their other features such as their lips, their cheeks, their nose and then back to their eyes. Smiling when listening to someone is a great way to show you are interested in them, obviously don’t smile when they have just told you their pet died last night. You have to listen with your ears as well as listening with your eyes (yes I did mean listening with your eyes, you listen to someone’s body language with your eyes).

6. Loving someone – My wife and I often share a prolonged gaze into each others eyes and it is a very special thing to just stare without talking. My wife’s pupils will dilate and she can my pupils dilating. It creates a strong bond between us. To make your pupils dilate even more you can try this: as you are staring at your partner imagine yourself going inside their body and your two souls making love. You are trying to touch their very soul. This will release adrenalin and make your pupils dilate even more.

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Self-image – Boost Your Self-image in 5 Simple Steps

By: Andres Lara

Never voice an opinion of yourself that is less than spectacular. Any sentiment less than extraordinary or amazing about yourself, you must refrain from verbalizing it. Expressions become impressions. Every time you express views about yourself, those views become impressed, imprinted, inscribed… tattooed onto your self-image and onto others’ minds.

People usually repeat what they hear. So if they are going to hear something from you, about you, make it breathtaking. Make it…worth repeating. Remember this…your words are tattooists. Choose them carefully… for their scars can last a lifetime.

Here are some simple things you can do to make sure your words are painting a beautiful self-portrait.

1. Describe Yourself:Ask yourself “What has been the most empowering description of myself that I have ever heard?” Write it down and repeat it throughout the day. If you are not happy with it, make up a description of yourself that will empower you and repeat it frequently.

2. Powerful Words:Since you are carving your day and life with words why not be very selective on the words you use. Incorporate these words today in every interaction or thought you have: Wonderful, uplifted, invincible, courageous, passionate, loving, compassionate, astounding, determined, miraculous, committed, stupendous.

3. Develop a Habit: You have probably heard that it takes twenty-one days to develop a new habit. But have you ever consciously counted the days you tried to implement a new habit? Here is a good opportunity. For the next twenty-one days repeat frequently that powerful statement that describes you (tip number 1) and consciously make yourself use those powerful words (tip number two) in every interaction. Do this for twenty-one days and see how your life will change.

4. Think Before You Speak: You have the power to build or destroy, to make things, incidents, and people more beautiful than they are or uglier…you can create a masterpiece everywhere you go or a disaster. Your words give you a lot more power than you think. Next time you are going to express your opinion about something, someone, or even yourself think before you speak. Expressions become impressions.

5. Change Others’ Lives:It is not a miracle, it’s called imitation. We all do it. If you spend enough time with another person, you will eventually start resembling that person. Take a look at your spouse, siblings, or people you spend lots of time with. Chances are you use similar expressions, body movements, gestures and even words. So this means that you won’t only impact your life when you choose to use powerful words but also that of others that you care and love.

Affirm This Statement:
I vocalize only words that empower, invigorate, and compel the best to emerge. My words exhilarate.

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Four Essentials to Maintaining a Healthy Mind

 By: Omar Z. Phillips

Our Mind is one of our most precious possessions; it’s also a possession that is easy to take for granted.

Rarely as human beings do we take stock and hold inventory of our thoughts and perpetual mediations.

But this simple habit can mean the difference between a healthy productive mind, operating at optimum, a servant able to enable the manifestation of our destiny. Or a troubled storm torn vessel, unable to assist us is in the vicissitudes of life.

In this article I want to highlight four main elements I feel will be deeply useful to consider when we are endeavouring to corral our minds in the direction that will produce the most desired results.

To further lay emphasis on the opportunity we have before us, I would have you consider the fact that a healthy mind more often than not is fundamental to a healthy body. A healthy mind enables us to think creatively and circumstances will invariably bend to the upbeat attitude of a healthy mind.

A healthy mind will attract to it not only healthy circumstances, but also healthy company. It’s been said bad company corrupts good habits. I charge we should choose our thoughts as carefully as we choose our friends and vice versa.

Our thoughts will either take us to our desired destination, or plunge us to our dreaded fates. Our thoughts will ennoble us to feats of courage and determination or rob us of vital energy when life requires an extra push.

Lets look together at the four things that can greatly improve our thought life and enable our minds to maintain a healthy virile tone that will infuse all of life with purpose, meaning, worth and peace.


Let’s begin with attitude; it’s been said that in all of life’s happenings, the one thing we can choose is our attitude. A negative attitude is one of the surest ways to eschew destruction through our whole system, and destroy productive relations with our fellows. Even if we attract many other negative people to our pity party, the ensuing conversations will be so detrimental, we can be sure no positive thing can result. Likewise when we choose in the face of a negative appearing circumstance a positive response, the lessons in the circumstance are learnt, the pain quickly passes and we are ennobled, energised, invigorated. And by default those we come in contact with will reap the benefits.

Self Esteem:

A positive attitude is hard to maintain without a healthy self esteem. Self esteem is something so deep it affects our thoughts immensely. First please realise that who you are has tremendous value and worth. You may have been told otherwise all your life, and circumstances may have conspired together to compound this notion. But please stop and look into the mirror, tell yourself you love yourself, tell yourself you forgive yourself, tell yourself that you are the most valuable possession you have at your disposal, and invest in yourself. Allow you’re self to change all the destructive self loathing thoughts; they won’t help you or those around you. The moment you accept yourself and see your worth and invest in yourself the world will become a better place.


The next key thought I want to cover is our mediation, our constant mental fixations, what do we spend our time thinking about? Amidst the various pressures and circumstances life poses, beneath the surface can be a volcano of anxieties, concerns and misgivings. If we don’t discipline our minds and choose to maintain focus our lives can become bogged down in a mire of frustration from which we long to escape. It’s very important in life to have vision. Take time to really consider your aims, purpose and reasons for doing what you do. Allow the sometimes disorienting process of change to operate in your life; be prepared to jettison dead weights that are stifling your progress. Establish your destination, and as you press towards it maintain a healthy meditation on your focus. When anxieties arise meditate on your focus. When you go to bed and when you rise, meditate on your focus. And you will find your thoughts steering your mind which in turn will steer your course and you’ll make it.


And last but by no means least I hope this final thought will add the so needed Icing to the cake; Courage. We addressed anxiety which is a form of fear. Fearful thoughts seek to paralyse our best efforts and sabotage our endeavours. Whether it is a case of self doubt or the fear of people, apparently insurmountable obstacles or the great unknown. I encourage you to add courage to your arsenal of productive thoughts. Believe you can achieve and you will. Be brave enough to believe you have value despite naysayers. Press beyond the dead past and enter the yet unseen future, confident your going to make it, and life will bend to your faith.

Ultimately choose your attitude, recognise your intrinsic value. Take stock of your daily meditations and focus on your vision and purpose, and rise to life’s challenges beginning in your mind, with the courage of believing thoughts and hopeful expectations. And you’ll maintain a healthy mind that will serve you throughout your life.

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Intuition Vs Fear: How to Recognize Your Intuition

By Matthew Engel 

Intuition can produce feelings, emotions, sounds, images, physical sensations, dreams, heightened awareness and distractions. Everyone has intuition. Sometimes it’s subtle and other times it’s quite pronounced or even startling. For people who haven’t had any training in how to work with their intuition, the experience of being intuitive can lead to empathic overload, fatigue, disillusionment, and confusion about what’s real, what’s being imagined, what’s being projected, what’s coming from a higher (wiser) place and what’s not. Listening to intuition can be just as disturbing as attempts to ignore it because the messages may seem emotionally loaded while also being cryptic or lacking any clear direction as to how to make use of that information – much less what higher purpose it’s serving or how to digest the emotional aspects of it.

By learning to recognize and work with your intuition effectively, you can create a greater feeling of purpose, direction, clarity, inner peace and spiritual connection in your life. Learning how to ground your sixth sense in the practical world is essential in navigating relationships, careers, financial decisions, life transitions, and personal growth.

The following 8 tips may help you to recognize the workings and value of your intuition and offer clarity about the difference between the fear-based mind and the intuitive, wise self:

  1. The purpose of your intuition is to guide you – not to scare you. Any fear-based response you have is coming from your mind – not your higher self.
  2. Cryptic messages are not necessarily warnings. They may just be an attempt from the universe to get your attention. Don’t jump to conclusions. Instead, take time to listen and engage (calmly) with the energy contained within those messages. Take some deep breaths and ask your higher self for clarity.
  3. If you find yourself stirred up by your intuitive downloads, stop what you’re doing and breath deeply again. Then ask your spiritual power why you’re picking up that information or energy and what you can do with it. Give yourself some time to receive an answer. It may not come to you immediately. It may take several days and calm space before another message presents itself. With practice, you can learn to dialogue with your intuition so that it becomes more useful to you.
  4. If you’re on empathic overload, ask yourself what emotional issues may be getting activated within yourself. What inner demons are unresolved? When you’re already stirred up (or in denial) about your own emotional process, it’s likely that you’ll over-identify with someone else’s pain. That leads to a merging of your pain and someone else’s and a situation that’s emotionally, psychically, and energetically murky.
  5. Do a reality check about whether your inner rescuer has been activated. Are you yearning to fix someone else? Is that your pattern? It is for a lot of empathic people as they have a tendency to try to save everyone else rather than working on themselves. Keep in mind that you’ll be less effective in helping anyone else if your own emotions and energy are stirred up.
  6. If you’re constantly on the go, your energy will race and you may be more likely to feel anxious. Giving yourself time-outs, time in nature, walks, hikes, swims, meditation, massage, quiet time at home and other self-care modalities will help to ground your energy and decrease your fear response.
  7. If your instincts are telling you something and you respond with an argumentative statements, you may be ignoring your own intuition.
  8. Keep a journal of the intuitive messages that you receive – even if you’re unsure of what they mean. Over time, you may find that the messages come together in a more coherent manner.

There are a number of books and courses to help you develop your intuition. It may seem frustrating at first. But if you commit to spending time several days each week settling into a calm inner space, asking for guidance from your higher self and simply allow yourself to be present with whatever images, words, sensations, feelings or sense of knowing that comes to you – free of judgement and scrutiny – you’ll be well on your way to developing your intuition.

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14 Ways to Reestablish Trust When Trust Is Broken By You Or Another

By Dr Kate Siner

Whether you are the person who has been hurt or you are the person who has broken trust, you very likely will want to do some repair work. Here are fourteen things that you can do to help rebuild trust with another person once it has been broken.

1. Take Responsibility: Regardless of which role you played in the situation, you are responsible for your own contributions to what has occurred. Take some time to be clear about what you did and what you did not do that may have lead to a situation where trust was broken.

2. Show Empathy: When we have hurt someone, it helps for them to see that we understand the pain that they are going through. When we have been hurt, some of us will expect ourselves to get over it quickly and others will tend to hold onto the pain. Either way, empathizing with our own experience is helpful to our process of healing. It is also helpful to show empathy when possible to the person that hurt us. This person usually hurt us because of his or her own pain.

3. Keep Promises and Agreement: If you have betrayed someone’s trust, their whole system is on red alert. More than likely they expect you to continue to hurt them. By only making promises and agreements you can keep – as well as making sure to keep them – you can start to rebuild trust.

4. Be Authentic: People can spot a phony, (and even if they go along, they do not really trust them). So if you have hurt someone, being real is the best way to rebuild trust. If you were the person hurt, being authentic might mean that you are truthful about your emotions and where you are in your healing process.

5. Expect and Support Emotional Reactions: When there has been a breach of trust, everyone wants it to go away. But, expecting it to be cleared with an, “I’m sorry,” is often overly optimistic. Emotions will come and go. The more that you can support the emotional healing of yourself, or the person you hurt, the more likely you are to reestablish trust.

6. Sincerely Apologize: Perhaps, this should be number one. Offering an apology is the first thing that you can do to begin the healing after trust has been broken. Just lip service will not do – you will need to understand how you hurt the other person and truly feel remorse for your actions.

7. Accept and Admit Your Faults: Regardless of which side of the coin you fall on, you have flaws. These flaws, while understandable, likely contributed to the situation at hand. Stating your flaws and saying what you are going to do differently is helpful in regaining trust.

8. Keep Your Head on Your Shoulders: Assess the situation at hand. If you have sincerely shown remorse and the other person is not able to forgive you even after doing your due diligence, (or the person who has hurt you has not altered his or her behavior to be safe), your best choice might be to cut ties. Rebuilding trust is important… but pay attention to when your time is better invested elsewhere.

9. Imagine Different Outcomes: So, you trusted and you got hurt. This does not mean every time that you trust you will get hurt. Learn what you can, and then look to the future. What kind of people do you want to relate to? How would you like them to show up to the relationship?

10. Listen to Your Intuition: Very often when someone betrays us, we had a sense that it was happening or even just a sense that something was not right. The more we hone our intuition the easier it is to make good decisions for ourselves in the future.

11. Forgive Yourself: We all make mistakes. Sometimes, there is a high price tag to pay for the type of mistake that we made – like loss of a relationship, or loss of trust with ourselves. Regardless of what you did or did not do, the best you can do is learn from it and make difference choices in the future.

12. Forgive the Other Person: Building off of forgiving yourself, the person that hurt you also is prone to making mistakes and bad choices. When you are ready, forgiving the person who hurt you can be one of the most liberating actions and can open you up to truly trust again.

13. Try Trusting Again: Seriously, get back on the horse. Perhaps one person broke your trust but how many other people did not? The odds are in your favor. Keep building with the people who have shown themselves to be worthy of your trust.

14. Make Yourself Happy: The happier we are, the healthier we are. The healthier we are the better decisions we make… and the faster we bounce back from our challenges. Taking care of yourself and doing what you love will help you feel courageous enough to trust again.

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